Language shapes how we see ourselves – and how others see us. As a gay couple traveling around the world for our blog Couple of Men, we’ve learned that words carry weight, especially when it comes to identity, safety, and belonging. Whether you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community or a committed ally, understanding inclusive language is more than being “politically correct”. It is about showing respect and celebrating diversity. This LGBTQ+ glossary is designed to help you navigate today’s evolving terminology with care, clarity, and confidence. From empowering identities to outdated phrases best left behind, we’ll guide you through the language that helps queer people feel seen. Let’s explore the words that matter. Because every term is more than a label: it’s someone’s truth.
Quick Article Summary
LGBTQ+ Glossary: Explore inclusive, respectful, and evolving queer terms, including outdated phrases to avoid, cultural variations, and helpful language tips for allies.
Why queer language matters
Words don’t just describe us – they shape how we’re seen and treated. For LGBTQ+ folks, language can be a lifeline. It offers a way to express identity, build community, and make one feel safe, especially when traveling or navigating unfamiliar places. If you’ve ever felt invisible or misrepresented, you know how much the right words can mean. Whether you’re part of the community or a motivated ally who strives to do better, learning inclusive terminology is about showing care and creating space for everyone to exist authentically. And on the side, you are being polite, too.
Visibility begins with language
- Terms of this LGBTQ+ Glossary, like “non-binary,” “asexual,” or “intersex”, help people name their truth.
- Inclusive words validate identities that are often overlooked or misunderstood.
- The more we normalize diverse languages, the more we create space for everyone to belong.
Words carry emotional weight
- Misusing terms, especially around gender or identity, can deeply hurt.
- Asking someone about their pronouns is a kind, respectful, and affirming gesture.
- Even small language shifts can have a significant impact on how safe someone feels.
During our travels, we’ve seen how language can either invite or exclude. Being welcomed as a couple of men rather than just friends, brothers, or even father and son made all the difference. In contrast, a misused term at a border crossing left us feeling uneasy, unsafe, and even angry. These moments stick with you. And they remind us that words matter, more than we often realize.
LGBTQ+: The most expansive version of the acronym
You may have come across the acronym LGBTTQQIAA2SNBGNCPK – yes, that’s 19 letters long. It’s one of the most inclusive and deliberately expansive versions of the better-known LGBTQ+ acronym. Each letter represents a unique identity, orientation, or experience within the broader queer spectrum:
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, 2-Spirit (an Indigenous gender identity from North America), Sapiosexual (attraction based on intelligence), Non-Binary, Bigender, Genderqueer, Neutrois (gender-neutral), Cisgender, Pansexual, and Kink-identified.
While this version is impressively inclusive, it’s rarely used in everyday language. Why? Because it’s challenging to read, remember, and communicate clearly. That’s why LGBTQ+ has become the widely accepted term: the “+” symbol serves as a respectful, open-ended placeholder for all identities not explicitly named. It’s a practical solution that embraces complexity, without losing clarity.
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Inclusive & affirming LGBTQ+ terms
The LGBTQ+ community is beautifully diverse, just like its language. In this section, we’re highlighting terms in our LGBTQ+ Glossary that are widely accepted and affirming in 2025. These words reflect how people describe their identities, experiences, and connections in ways that feel true to them. If you’re new to some of these, don’t worry: we’ve included short explanations to help you understand when and how to use them.
Identities & Orientations
These terms help people describe who they are and whom they’re attracted to.
- Gay: Refers to a man attracted to men, or more broadly, anyone who is attracted to the same gender. Use it when someone self-identifies as gay, especially but not exclusively in male-male contexts.
- Lesbian: A woman who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to women. Use it for women who identify that way – don’t substitute “gay woman” unless preferred.
- Bisexual: Describes attraction to more than one gender, not necessarily equally or at the same time. Use it when someone is open to multiple genders in romantic or sexual relationships.
- Pansexual: A person who is attracted to others regardless of gender or sex characteristics. Use when someone expresses that gender isn’t a factor in who they’re attracted to.
- Asexual (Ace): Someone who experiences little or no sexual attraction to others. Important: This doesn’t mean a lack of desire for romantic relationships.
- Queer: An umbrella term reclaimed by many in the community to express a non-normative gender or sexuality. Best used if someone self-identifies as queer, while avoiding using it casually unless you’re sure it’s welcome.
Gender identity & expression
These words relate to how someone experiences and expresses their gender.
- Transgender (Trans): A person whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Always use the person’s affirmed name and pronouns.
- Non-binary: An identity that doesn’t fit within the traditional categories of male or female. Non-binary people may use they/them or other pronouns – ask respectfully.
- Cisgender (Cis): Someone whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. It is used broadly in contrast to trans or non-binary identities.
- Genderqueer: A broad identity outside the gender binary – often overlaps with non-binary. Use when someone self-identifies this way. Not everyone sees “queer” as interchangeable.
- Genderfluid: Describes a gender identity that shifts over time. Some genderfluid individuals may change their pronouns depending on how they identify themselves on a given day.
Article tip: Genderqueer: Documentary about an LGBTQIAP+ Queertopia
Community & culture
These terms describe shared values, lived experiences, and cultural dynamics in queer spaces.
- Chosen family: The supportive network LGBTQ+ people often build when biological families aren’t affirming. Use it to highlight emotional bonds beyond blood relations.
- Intersex: Refers to people born with natural variations in sex characteristics that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female. Do not confuse with transgender – intersex is about biology, not identity.
- Pride: Refers both to self-affirmation and the global LGBTQ+ rights movement. Capitalize when referring to Pride Month or Pride events.
- Intersectionality: A framework for understanding how various forms of discrimination overlap – e.g., race, gender, sexuality, and disability. Key when talking about LGBTQ+ experiences that go beyond identity alone.
- Drag: A performative art form involving gender expression through costume, makeup, and performance. Not all drag performers are trans, and not all trans people do drag—avoid conflating them.
Outdated or problematic LGBTQ+ terms you should avoid
Language evolves – and that’s a good thing. Many once-common terms of any LGBTQ+ Glossary are now considered outdated, offensive, or simply inaccurate. Some were coined by medical institutions, others by mainstream media, and many carry baggage from times when LGBTQ+ identities were pathologized or criminalized. If you’re unsure about a term, it’s always better to ask or check whether it’s still appropriate. Here’s a list of expressions you’re better off leaving behind, PLUS what to say instead.
Commonly used but no longer appropriate
- Homosexual: Once a clinical term, now often seen as cold, outdated, or linked to medicalization. Better: “gay” or “lesbian” depending on the context.
- Transsexual: Considered outdated and overly medical. Still used by some individuals, but not as a general term. Better: “transgender” or simply “trans” if appropriate.
- Hermaphrodite: An offensive and outdated term rooted in mythology, not science. Better: “intersex” – a medically and socially respectful term.
- Sex change / Pre-op / Post-op: Reduces trans people to their bodies or surgical history. Better: “transition,” “gender-affirming care,” or “transgender person.”
- Cross-dresser (when used as a synonym for trans identity): This term refers specifically to people who wear clothes associated with another gender, often for personal or expressive reasons, not as a gender identity. Avoid using it to describe trans individuals.
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Terms that erase or stereotype
- Lifestyle (as in “gay lifestyle”): Being LGBTQ+ is not a lifestyle – it’s an identity. Better: “identity” or simply say “LGBTQ+ people.”
- Tranny / She-male / He-she: Slurs that have been used to dehumanize trans people. Never appropriate. Use accurate identity terms like “trans woman” or “trans person.”
- Sexual preference: Implies that orientation is a choice. Better: “sexual orientation.”
Quick LGBTQ+ Glossary tips for travelers
In some countries, outdated or even offensive terms may still be in official use or embedded in local language. When in doubt:
- Listen to how locals refer to LGBTQ+ people – but cross-check with community organizations.
- Use respectful, modern terminology in conversations and when booking queer-friendly services.
- Always follow someone’s lead on how they describe themselves.
Help for LGBTQ+ People
- The TREVOR Project: Trevor Support Center >
- Ditch The Label: Coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual >
- The NCOD: National Coming Out Day >
- Internationals: Coming Out Abroad >
- Stonewall: Coming Out as an adult >
- Pride: The LGBTQ+ Rights Movement >
- LGBTQ+ Couples: Story LGBTQ+ businesses >
LGBTQ+ terms around the world
Queer identities exist everywhere. The words used to describe them vary widely across cultures. Some of these terms in this LGBTQ+ Glossary predate modern LGBTQ+ movements, while others reflect unique intersections of gender, tradition, and spirituality. As travelers, being aware of regional identities is essential for showing respect and understanding diverse queer experiences beyond Western labels. These are translations of LGBTQ+ terms, representing identities in their own right.
Indigenous & ancestral identities
- Two-Spirit (North America): A sacred identity in many Indigenous cultures that encompasses both masculine and feminine spirits. It can describe gender, sexual orientation, or spiritual role. Important: Only Indigenous people may identify as Two-Spirit. Use respectfully and avoid appropriation.
- Fa’afafine (Samoa): A recognized third-gender identity in Samoan culture. Fa’afafine are typically assigned male at birth and embody both masculine and feminine traits. Not the same as being trans – this identity is deeply rooted in Samoan society.
Southeast & East Asia
- Kathoey (Thailand): Often translated as “ladyboy,” though this term can be offensive in English. Kathoey refers to trans women or effeminate gay men in Thai culture. Respect local self-identification and avoid using the term casually unless someone self-identifies that way.
- Hijra (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh): Recognized in South Asia as a third gender with cultural and spiritual significance. Hijras have a long history, but also face discrimination and marginalization. Use this cultural LGBTQ+ terminology only in a respectful context, and avoid generalizing.
- Bakla (Philippines): Describes a person assigned male at birth who presents femininely or identifies as a woman. Not necessarily trans. A complex identity with cultural weight that is best understood through community voices.
Latin America
- Muxe (Mexico – Zapotec culture): A third gender identity in Oaxaca, where muxe are often assigned male at birth but live as women or in a gender-diverse way. Muxe identities are culturally specific and celebrated in some communities.
- Travesti (Argentina, Brazil): Refers to a feminine identity among people assigned male at birth. Often distinct from “trans woman” in terms of expression and political identity. Used with pride in some communities, but can be misused by outsiders – context matters.
Traveler’s note on cultural terms
- Never assume global LGBTQ+ identities mirror Western labels.
- Use terms only when someone shares them about themselves.
- When in doubt, refer to trusted local LGBTQ+ organizations or media for guidance.
Queer slang & internet language
Queer language is found in identity labels and is woven into everyday speech, memes, drag performances, and online culture. From playful queer slang to viral phrases, these expressions often emerge from Black, Latinx, and trans communities, particularly the ballroom scene. From there, they spread through shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race, TikTok, and queer Threads. While fun, these terms carry cultural roots. Using them respectfully means understanding their origins and not treating them like throwaway trends.
Ballroom & Drag-inspired slang
- Shade: A subtle, clever insult. Throwing shade is an art form in drag and ballroom culture. “Did you hear that comeback? She threw so much shade.”
- Serving / Serve: Looking exceptionally good – usually with an attitude. “You’re serving tropical fantasy realness in that outfit!”
- Reading: The act of playfully pointing out someone’s flaws – always with flair. “He read me for filth, but it was all in good fun.”
- Realness: The ability to present a convincing look, identity, or vibe – often used in drag categories. “Giving businesswoman realness today.”
Slang from queer online spaces
- Yaaas / Yaaas queen: An enthusiastic cheer, often celebrating fierce confidence or beauty. “Yaaas queen! That outfit slaps.”
- Tea / Spill the tea: Gossip, truth, or real talk. “Spill the tea – what happened at that party?”
- They/them baddie: A confident, stylish non-binary person. “They’re a total they/them baddie – love their vibe.”
- Gay panic: A humorous expression of flustered attraction, often exaggerated. “Saw him smile, and I went straight into gay panic.”
Tips on using queer slang respectfully
- Slang often originates in marginalized communities – don’t use it as a joke or costume.
- Use it when you’re part of the culture or in safe, affirming contexts.
- Avoid “overusing” drag terms if you’re unfamiliar with their roots.
- Learn through community creators – not just memes.
Want to understand more? Follow queer creators on TikTok, support ballroom documentaries like Paris Is Burning, or check out podcasts by LGBTQ+ voices.
Gay Travel Index of 2025
The Berlin-based Spartacus informs LGBTQ+ and queer travelers about how gay-friendly a holiday destination is according to several ranking factors and criteria. Which country ranks first? Where is it safe to travel to as a gay and LGBTQ+ traveler? You can use the GTI to prepare for your gaycation and as a guide when choosing a holiday destination.
How to use LGBTQ+ language respectfully
Using inclusive language is about memorizing a list of “correct” words on the one hand. And about paying attention, listening with care, and respecting how people choose to describe themselves to others, on the other hand. Language is one of the most powerful tools we have. You have. And rest assured, we’ve made our share of mistakes along the way, too: Asking awkward questions, stumbling over new terms, or assuming we knew more than we did. The key is to stay open, humble, and willing to learn from your mistakes. And this is an ongoing journey.
5 simple ways to speak with respect
- Ask for pronouns – and use them correctly. If you’re unsure, “What pronouns do you use?” is always better than guessing. Our tip: Introduce yourself using your pronouns. That way, you create a safe space for someone to share their pronouns.
- Use the terms of this LGBTQ+ Glossary after someone shares with you. If someone says they’re non-binary, don’t rephrase it as “kind of trans” unless they say so.
- Avoid gendered assumptions. Not everyone in a relationship is a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” – terms like “partner” or “spouse” are often safer and more inclusive.
- Correct yourself gently. If you misgender someone or use the wrong term, don’t make a scene – just apologize and move on.
- Keep learning. LGBTQ+ language changes because it reflects real, evolving lives. Stay curious, compassionte, and treat others the way you would like them to treat you.
Language tips for queer travelers
- Research regional terms: What’s inclusive in Berlin might not be understood in Bangkok.
- When in doubt, stick to respectful basics: Use words like “LGBTQ+ person” or “partner.”
- Check official forms or booking systems: Do they offer inclusive options for gender and title? If not, it’s okay to ask.
- Lead with empathy: In countries where queer rights are restricted, how you speak – and listen – can make a huge difference.
Language is never neutral. It either opens a door or builds a wall. And when you’re traveling, those first words might be your only chance to get it right.
A quick checklist for LGBTQ+ allies:
- Say “partner” or “spouse” instead of assuming “husband” or “wife”
- Ask before labeling someone’s identity based on visual stereotypes
- Drop outdated phrases like “sexual preference”
- Avoid using “exotic” non-Western LGBTQ+ terms
- Center people’s own language, not what you think is correct
LGBTQ+ glossary – A to Z overview
Below in this glossary, you’ll find a quick-reference table of essential LGBTQ+ terms, definitions, and usage notes. These terms reflect today’s inclusive language. They can help you to speak with clarity, care, and confidence, whether you’re traveling, dating, or simply expanding your understanding.
This glossary is designed to encourage more inclusive and respectful conversations by providing language that reflects today’s diverse LGBTQ+ experiences. While it covers many widely used terms, it’s not exhaustive. Everyone is entitled to define themselves in their own words. So, listen closely, stay open, and honor each person’s chosen identity.
Gay Cruising Guides
Together with our dear friend and Gay Cruising Culture expert John, we are showing you the best cruising places of gay-friendly travel destinations worldwide. How to find gay cruising hot spots? What should be considered when doing gay cruising? Is gay cruising legal in the country you are traveling to?
Reclaimed or offensive language – Use with caution
Language evolves, but it does not always happen smoothly. Some terms of this LGBTQ+ Glossary have a painful history in queer culture. They were once (and often still are) used to hurt, mock, or marginalize LGBTQ+ folks. In some circles, these queer terminology and reclaimed slurs and are now worn with pride. But outside those communities, or when used casually, they can still cause harm. Before using any of the terms below, make sure you understand their context, origin, and the permission (or lack thereof) to speak them.
Examples of reclaimed or still-offensive terms
- Dyke: Reclaimed by some lesbians as a proud self-identifier, but still considered offensive when used by non-queer people or in hostile settings.
- Queer: Once a slur, now a common umbrella term for non-heteronormative identities. Still uncomfortable for some, especially older LGBTQ+ individuals.
- Fag / Faggot: Almost universally considered offensive, though some gay men have “re” appropriated the word among close peers or in activist circles. Avoid unless explicitly used by someone about themselves.
- Tranny: A deeply transphobic slur. While it was once used casually in some gay spaces, it is no longer appropriate in public or inclusive language. Do not use.
- Fairy / Nelly / Queen: Stereotypical or mocking terms for effeminate gay men. Some have reclaimed them playfully, but others find them degrading.
- Fag hag: Refers to women who have many gay male friends. Sometimes used humorously, but often rooted in stereotypes. Use with care, or better yet, not at all.
How to approach the terms of this LGBTQ+ Glossary respectfully
- Let community members lead the language. If someone uses a term for themselves, follow their example. Please do not assume it’s okay for you to use it as well.
- In writing, context is everything. Explain the term, its history, and why you’re using it (e.g., in historical discussion or cultural analysis).
- When in doubt, choose respectful, inclusive alternatives.
These words carry real emotional weight. Using them without thought can open old wounds. But when used with care, consent, and context, they can also reflect power, resistance, and pride.
Reading tip: Karl’s Coming Out – His Journey out of his East German Closet
LGBTQ+ Language – Frequently Asked Questions
LGBTQ+ is the acronym that encompasses all people who do not identify within the binary system of male/female and/or do not identify as (only) heterosexual. The letters identify certain people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. In addition to LGBT, LGBT+, LGBTQ+, and LGBTQIA+ (LGBTQ+ plus “intersex” and “asexual”), another acronym has recently emerged: LGBTQQIP2SAA (which adds “questioning,” “pansexual,” “two-spirit,” and “ally”).
Yes, when used respectfully. Many LGBTQ+ people proudly reclaim “queer” as an umbrella term. However, using this LGBTQ+ Glossary term may still feel hurtful to some, especially older generations. When in doubt, ask first.
Both describe identities outside the male/female binary. “Non-binary” is often used as a broad identity, while “genderqueer” may carry a more political or activist tone. Some people use both terms.
Language evolves, and outdated LGBTQ+ terms like “homosexual” or “transsexual” originated in medical or clinical settings and can feel dehumanizing today. Inclusive language centers identity, autonomy, and respect.
Cisgender (or “cis”) describes someone whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. It’s the opposite of transgender.
These include they/them, ze/zir, and xe/xer. They’re used by people who don’t identify strictly as male or female, such as non-binary or genderqueer individuals.
An intersex person is born with sex characteristics (such as chromosomes, hormones, or anatomy) that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female. It’s a natural variation, not a disorder.
Sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to (e.g., gay, bi, pan). Gender identity is about who you are (e.g., woman, man, non-binary).
Not at all. Asking for pronouns shows that you care about addressing someone correctly and respectfully. Just don’t assume based on appearance. You can also start by introducing yourself by telling your pronouns, even if you are not identifying as a queer person.
It’s language that respects people’s identities, avoids stereotypes, uses up-to-date terms, and follows how people describe themselves. Inclusive language creates space for belonging.
Yes. Some words may not translate well, or may even be dangerous in certain countries. Use respectful, explicit language, and check local LGBTQ+ resources before you go.
Trusted sources include GLAAD, Human Rights Campaign, ILGA World, and local LGBTQ+ organizations. And of course, you can always come back to this glossary as your reference.
LGBTQ+ is commonly used as the short form of LGBTTQQIAA2SNBGNCPK, the 19-letter most inclusive and deliberately expansive version of the better-known LGBTQ+ acronym. It stands for: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, 2-Spirit (an Indigenous gender identity from North America), Sapiosexual (attraction based on intelligence), Non-Binary, Bigender, Genderqueer, Neutrois (gender-neutral), Cisgender, Pansexual, and Kink-identified.
LGBTQ+ glossary: Language is more than words
The LGBTQ+ glossary is a comprehensive list of terms that reflects the experiences and evolving ways of being seen and understood by real people. For queer travelers, respectful language can mean the difference between feeling safe and feeling erased. For allies, it’s a powerful way to show care and inclusion. As a gay couple who travel, we’ve seen how language creates connection and how silence or missteps can isolate.
That’s why we built this guide: to learn more from expert sources, help to speak with empathy, navigate conversations with confidence, and celebrate the full spectrum of queer identity. Whether you’re exploring your identity, trying to be a better friend or partner, or preparing for your next LGBTQ+-inclusive journey, this glossary is here to help. And just like our community, it will continue to grow. Please let us know if we missed a term or if our glossary is outdated. We aim to update it regularly.
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Do you want to know more about travel news from the LGBTQ + community? Follow us on Instagram, Threads, YouTube, and Facebook! See you at a Pride or CSD demonstration somewhere in this beautiful, diverse, and eclectic world!
Karl & Daan.