Big Bear Lake is one of those places in Southern California that you don’t truly understand until you experience it. At more than 6,560 feet (2,000 meters) above sea level, an LGBTQ+-friendly natural paradise awaits in the southwest of the USA, glowing in bright autumn colors. Between crisp mountain air, calm lakes, cozy cabins, and a relaxed atmosphere, Big Bear Lake offers exactly the kind of moments queer travelers look for on a road trip: deceleration, romance, and nature experiences that stay with you long after the journey ends. LGBTQ+ travel to Big Bear Lake is neither loud nor driven by city hustle — and that is exactly what makes it so special. If you want to breathe again after days in Los Angeles or Palm Springs, you’ll find the perfect place here. Join us in Southern California as Couple of Men, and discover our best gay and LGBTQ+ travel tips for Big Bear Lake.
– paid collaboration with Visit California & Visit Big Bear Lake
Why Big Bear Lake Is So Special for LGBTQ+ Travelers
As LGBTQ+ travel bloggers who have been exploring queer‑friendly destinations around the world for more than ten years, we know: autumn in Southern California – especially at Big Bear Lake – sounds unusual to many at first, since most people associate this region with desert landscapes, beaches, or palm‑lined streets. But Big Bear Lake shows a completely different side of the Golden State: autumn forests, cool evenings, mountain panoramas, and a sense of calm that feels like the exact opposite of the metropolis of Los Angeles or the queer hotspot Palm Springs.
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For us as a gay couple, an LGBTQ+ trip to Big Bear Lake felt like a gift right in the middle of our road trip: a gay‑friendly destination to breathe, arrive, and recharge together. At the same time, Big Bear Lake is a region where we felt welcome – whether at dinner, in The Village, or out in the peaceful nature surrounding the lake.
From the Bustling City to the Mountain World of Big Bear Lake
After a few eventful days in West Hollywood, meeting plenty of people, attending events, having drinks, and experiencing that fast L.A. pace that both energized and tired us a bit, it felt good to leave city life behind. We packed the car, joined the afternoon traffic, and rolled onto the multi-lane highways heading out of Los Angeles. Even though the route to Big Bear Lake takes only about two hours, driving through the seemingly endless Greater L.A. area felt like its own little marathon: dense rush-hour traffic, five or six lanes side by side, and repeatedly slow-moving sections.
But with the right music, a good mood, and the sun behind us shining through the rear window into the mirror, nothing could go wrong. Only once we finally left the city limits behind could we take a deep breath, with the gay-friendly mountain town in the San Bernardino Mountains set in our navigation system.
Autumn Colors & Elevation – Pure Peace and Nature
With every mile heading northeast, the surroundings changed, and we could feel how good this contrast between West Hollywood and the mountains was for us. For our Southern California road trip, Big Bear Lake was the place where we wanted to arrive and breathe. And we would not be disappointed. More on that soon.
On our drive up into the mountains, before the road began its serious ascent, we stopped a few times to buy groceries for breakfast and dinner for the coming days. Then it was all uphill. The winding road led us deeper into the mountains, and the landscape grew more autumnal with each meter of elevation. The dry shrubland transformed into forests glowing in typical fall colors. The air cooled noticeably – from the warm city down below to fresh, almost autumn-like 10 to 15 degrees Celsius.
The sun was already low, occasionally blinding Karl as he maneuvered through the many, sometimes narrow curves. Shortly before reaching the plateau, we stopped at a small viewpoint: below us lay the entire Los Angeles Basin, wrapped in a thin layer of haze, while the mountain peaks rose above it like islands. Behind us, the forests glowed in autumn colors, a first moment of deep breathing on our LGBTQ+ road trip through Southern California. Next stop: Big Bear Lake.
First Impressions at Big Bear Lake
And suddenly, there it was: Big Bear Lake, one of the most famous mountain lakes in Southern California. Situated at 6,752 ft (around 2,058 meters), Big Bear Lake is a popular destination for Californians and, of course, for LGBTQ+ travelers who seek nature, peace, and fall scenery. As we drove through the final curves into town, dusk settled in. The lights came on, the streets were quiet, and there were barely any cars. Restaurants were already filling up early; people walked through the cool evening air wrapped in warm clothing. It felt like an exhale, a letting go of the pace of the previous days. Exactly the contrast we needed after West Hollywood.
Accommodation Tip: N+P Boutique Lodge in Big Bear Lake
A short time later, we reached the small, LGBTQ+ friendly N+P Boutique Lodge with its modernly furnished cabins. The small houses stood side by side in the forest, each with its parking space between them. In the evenings, the paths between the cabins were illuminated with warm string lights, and the small trees in front of the houses were softly lit from below, glowing in vibrant red — exactly the autumn atmosphere we had hoped for at Big Bear Lake.
The owners dedicated each cabin to a family member and designed them accordingly. Our accommodation, Otto’s Chalet, was dedicated to the grandfather and decorated entirely in dark green and brown forest tones. We found images of foresters, hunters, wildlife, and even old books from the Alps and Germany. This design fit perfectly with Karl, whose father had been a forester. We felt at home from the very first moment.
All our cabins are named after beloved family members and thematically designed. This is how we honor all Noble men and Proper women in our lives. Their legacy continues through each design.
N+P Boutique Lodge, Big Bear Lake
Sleeping in Forester Style
After entering, we stepped into the living room with a comfortable couch, armchairs, and a small dining area. Behind it lay a compact kitchen. You couldn’t really cook here, but everything needed for simple meals was provided: a microwave, a mini oven, a coffee maker, a kettle, and a large refrigerator. Even the dishes and cutlery were coordinated in style. The bathroom on the ground floor was warmly lit, modern, and surprisingly spacious.
Up the stairs on the first floor, we reached two bedrooms and an additional toilet. We chose the smaller bedroom at the back of the house, where we could sleep with the window open and let the forest air drift in. The bed was super comfortable, and the dark colors, lamps, and artwork created exactly the atmosphere we wanted for our quiet couple’s getaway.
Good to Know About the N+P Lodge
The small resort is located in the forest, but a nearby sports field is available for school sports classes in the mornings. We hardly noticed it ourselves, apart from a few shouts from ambitious young athletes. It didn’t bother us at all. Generally, we were indoors anyway when we weren’t out exploring Big Bear. Down in the living room, we could turn on the gas heater, which warmed the entire cabin comfortably.
We brought a few candles with us and created a small, romantic atmosphere for an autumn evening. We didn’t spend time outside on the terrace with the grill because of the temperatures, but it would definitely be an option during warmer months. Bicycles were also available, but we didn’t cycle because of our schedule. Still, it’s a lovely extra for anyone wanting to explore Big Bear Lake by bike.
Welcome Dinner at Oakside Grill
After unpacking and settling into our accommodation, we headed out to our reservation at the Oakside Grill, one of the most atmospheric restaurants in the village. From the outside, the building already had the look of a classic mountain restaurant, and inside, this impression continued: a lively sports bar upstairs and, downstairs, a warm, wood-paneled dining room with large windows and a terrace that remained open even in autumn thanks to patio heaters.
We decided on a table inside, right by the window. Daan ordered freshly prepared vegetarian pasta, while I chose a meatless burger with crispy sweet potato fries. We both treated ourselves to a local beer, which seemed like the right choice after such a long and impressive day. The atmosphere was relaxed, with soft 80s and 90s American music playing, leading us to hum along as we waited for our meals.
We couldn’t help but think of restaurants in classic winter sports towns in the Alps or the Rocky Mountains. Even though there was no snow outside yet, the evening already had something of a winter romance. A clear recommendation for anyone wanting to enjoy a good and cozy dinner in Big Bear Lake.
A Quiet Morning in the Mountains
After our evening at the Oakside Grill, we drove back to our accommodation and fell asleep immediately. Tired, content, and happy to feel a bit closer to the peacefulness of the mountains. The next morning began without an alarm: we woke slowly to bright, friendly autumn light streaming through the windows. Only now could we truly see the small boutique lodge and the entire resort in daylight: the colorful leaves, the little houses nestled among the trees, and the fresh mountain air that flowed into the room as soon as we opened the window.
We prepared a cozy breakfast, turned on the gas fireplace, and sat at the kitchen table in our white long johns — those comfy, full-length underwear pieces we love to bring along for chilly autumn mornings on our queer travels. Coffee for me, tea for Daan, along with fresh muesli and fruit, and the wonderful feeling of truly having arrived here.
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Lunch at De La Nonna Directly at Big Bear Lake
After our cozy morning, we packed our backpacks: camera, water, a few snacks, and of course, our good mood. From our accommodation, we took a relaxed walk down to the small harbor of Big Bear Lake. In autumn, the scenery seemed entirely different from summer: many boats had already been taken out of the water or carefully wrapped for winter. Others were still floating quietly in the marina, waiting for the last warm days of the season. Despite the approaching winter, we had pleasant temperatures of 18 to 20 degrees Celsius, bright sunshine, and that soft autumn light that makes everything appear a bit more golden.
After a short stroll along the water, we reached our first stop: De La Nonna, located right next to the newly renovated Marina Riviera Hotel. There, we decided on a pizza focaccia and a portion of pasta — simple but really good. With it came something unexpected to drink: a pickle beer. As the friendly server explained to us, this is a classic from Illinois. The taste was unusual at first, almost funny, but somehow it fit perfectly with this sunny autumn afternoon by the lake. With the warm sun on our backs and the view across the water, it was an excellent start to our first full day at Big Bear Lake.
Mineshaft Coaster Big Bear Lake – Toboggan Fun in the Mountains
After our relaxed lunch, the calm was over for a moment. If you know us, you know that Daan is a big fan of theme parks and roller coasters. That meant, of course, we couldn’t skip the Big Bear attraction Mineshaft Coaster. In Germany, you’d probably call it a “Sommerrodelbahn,” but here it’s a real alpine coaster: a self-controlled downhill ride weaving through forests and over small slopes, always with views of the lake and the surrounding mountains. After a short five-minute drive, we spotted the large bear sign on the roadside.
We were in luck, because on this quiet autumn day, there was hardly anyone around. So we were able to ride the coaster several times — each time a little faster, each time with a bit more autumn wind in our faces. The track led through colorful deciduous trees glowing in red, yellow, and orange. Between the curves, wide views over Big Bear Lake and the mountains opened up again and again. A quick adrenaline kick, perfect for anyone who loves combining nature with action. Definitely one of our gay travel tips for experiencing Big Bear Lake, not only on its calm side but also on its playful side.
Drinks & Dinner at Peppercorn Grill
Laughing and the fresh mountain air had made us hungry. Fittingly, we had a reservation at the Peppercorn Grill in Big Bear Lake Village. The restaurant is one of the town’s fine-dining options and already offers a varied menu at lunchtime. We arrived a bit early and began our evening with alcohol-free drinks and mocktails at the bar. The friendly staff seated us at a window table from where we could observe the calm evening life in the village — people on their way to dinner, the scent of autumn in the air, and the warm glow of the streetlights.
For dinner, Daan ordered a vegetarian pizza with a wonderfully crispy crust, while Karl chose a club sandwich with potato wedges and a Caesar salad. A delicious comfort-food dinner, perfect after an active day outdoors. Everything was tasty, and the atmosphere was relaxed.
Bowling Barn: A Classic American Evening
Full and satisfied but not yet tired, we decided on a typical American evening program after dinner: bowling. The Bowling Barn welcomed us outside with a giant wooden bear, a fitting mascot for a place where the bear is not only part of the name but also omnipresent. Inside, everything felt wonderfully nostalgic: glowing lanes, groups of friends and families, and plenty of joyful laughter.
Especially charming: even the screen animations were designed in the Big Bear style. After every strike, a mighty bear appeared to congratulate us on our throw. As a gay couple, we felt just as welcome here as everywhere else in town, relaxed, uncomplicated, and full of fun. We played several rounds, laughed at missed shots, and celebrated the successful ones even more.
Such a bowling evening in a U.S. destination is something special and therefore one of our Big Bear Lake LGBTQ+ travel tips. Back at our accommodation, we fell into bed full, content, and pleasantly tired. A beautiful end to the day and the perfect transition to the next adventure in Big Bear Lake.
Candle-Making at Mystic Moto in The Village
The next morning began just as calmly and gently. While having breakfast, we watched small squirrels and chipmunks through the window as they darted between the trees and nibbled on their morning snacks. Afterward, we packed, loaded the car, and got ready for the second part of our stay.
The first days had been all about discovering Gay Big Bear Lake. Now we wanted to head into nature, to hike and climb, and immerse ourselves in the colorful autumn landscape. For this slower, more nature-focused part of our trip, we had rented a house directly on the lake, a little outside the village center. But before moving into our vacation home, we had something planned that fit perfectly with the romantic, quiet autumn mood: a candle-making workshop at Mystic Moto.
From Peppercorn Grill, it was only a few minutes’ walk to the small boutique in The Village. There, we took our seats at the Candle Bar, smelled our way through various scents, selected crystals, and assembled our candles in the jars of our choice. It was a very personal, creative experience and a beautiful moment for the two of us. While the candles were curing, we used the time for a walk through The Village, taking photos of the autumn mountain town and finding a few souvenirs. After about half an hour, our candles were ready.
Indigo Mountain Spa – Relaxation Before the Hike
After about 30 minutes, we were able to pick up our finished candles, the perfect souvenir and, as we would later experience, an ideal way to fill our lake house with warm, atmospheric light. Afterward, we drove (about five minutes) from The Village along the main road to the Indigo Mountain Spa Big Bear Lake.
There, we treated ourselves to a relaxing full-body massage. It was ideal for loosening both body and mind before heading into the mountains the next day. A wonderful break that perfectly rounded off this transition from active exploration to nature-focused experiences. Definitely one of our Big Bear Lake travel tips for gay couples visiting Southern California.
Our Lake House in Boulder Bay, Big Bear Lake
Around 3 p.m., we stood in front of our lakefront house with our suitcases and bags. Big Bear Lake offers many private accommodations, including several Travel Proud Properties by Booking.com, as well as some located directly on the water.
But our house in Boulder Bay was something special. The bay is known for its many large boulders in and around the lake, giving it an almost Scandinavian flair. Our accommodation was built partially on top of these rocks. From the spacious terrace and the small private dock, we had a stunning view of the bay and the clear waters of Big Bear Lake.
For dinner, we used the well-equipped kitchen, then set out for a walk around Boulder Bay. Hand in hand, we walked the small loop along the water as the sun slowly disappeared behind the mountains around 6 p.m. Only half an hour later, the entire bay was already dark — illuminated only by the string lights of the surrounding houses, reflecting softly on the still water.
The daytime temperatures had been pleasantly mild, but as evening fell, they dropped quickly by about ten degrees. Nights in the mountains are chilly, even in autumn. For us, that meant cuddling up, leaving the window open just a crack, and listening to the soft sounds of the night. A moment that felt like the beginning of a gentle retreat. It was precisely what we had been looking for.
Off Into Nature! The Mountain Is Calling!
The breakfast the next morning was enjoyed outside on the terrace, wrapped in warm autumn sunshine. Two particularly striking birds — Steller’s Jays, as we later found out — hopped curiously through the trees surrounding the house, watching us eat and letting out their harsh, varied calls that seemed to differ depending on the situation. What peace, what a view.
Motivated to discover and explore more of the nature around Big Bear Lake, we packed our backpacks, filled our water bottles, secured our camera equipment, and started our active day in the mountains. Our first stop was the Big Bear Visitor Center to learn more about the hiking trails around the lake. We quickly chose the hike up to Castle Rock.
Hiking Through the Forests to Castle Rock
The newly built parking area was the starting point of our hike to Castel Rock. The first part was quite challenging — steep, rocky, and dusty as the trail climbed the mountain. But the large boulders, majestic trees (Jeffrey pines, Ponderosa pines, and California black oaks), and the occasional glimpses of the lake pulled us in immediately. At regular intervals, rock cairns secured with wire guided our way.
About an hour later, we reached a high rock formation where a few climbers were ascending. That had to be it: Castle Rock. Even though other boulders and hills looked interesting, this particular rock formation was the most impressive: it honestly looked like a stone fortress. We walked around the formation searching for a way up. To reach the very top, a short but somewhat tricky climbing section was necessary. It looked a bit intimidating at first, but it was definitely manageable.
Once on top, we were rewarded with a breathtaking view that we will never forget. Big Bear Lake lay beneath us, surrounded by forests glowing in fall colors. The sun warmed our backs and cast everything in golden light. Wow. Time to sit down, breathe deeply, and take it all in. Perfect moment for a snack: small tomatoes, sandwiches, and — as every proper hiking day demands — a boiled egg for each of us. We stayed for a while, holding hands, silent and grounded, just being there together in the mountains.
Shortly before sunset, we used the golden hour to take some fantastic drone and photo shots for our Big Bear Lake LGBTQ+ travel tips. What a fabulous day. The return hike was easy, even though twilight set in quickly. Be careful during dry periods: the dusty ground can get slippery if your shoe profile isn’t perfect! There stood our car, alone and waiting patiently in the parking lot.
Back at our lake house, we cooked a simple but delicious dinner and cuddled up on the sofa to look through the footage of the day. Exhausted in the best possible way, filled with impressions and nature moments, we fell asleep even faster than the days before.
Travel Tips for Gay Travelers in Big Bear Lake
#1 Big Bear Alpine Zoo: A Visit to the Native Wildlife of Southern California
If you want to experience the native wildlife of Southern California up close, you should visit the Big Bear Alpine Zoo. This small but dedicated zoo specializes in rescuing, rehabilitating, and protecting injured wild animals and provides a safe home for those that cannot return to the wild. Here, you can find mountain lions, black bears, birds of prey, foxes, coyotes, and various owl species native to the mountain region around Big Bear Lake.
The Alpine Zoo shares knowledge about local ecosystems, highlights the challenges of wildlife rescue work, and offers a rare opportunity to encounter regional animal species in a respectful, educational environment. A recommended stop for anyone looking to combine nature and wildlife conservation.
#2 Big Bear Romp: Gay Bear Event in the Mountains of Southern California
Big Bear Lake is not only a retreat for nature and outdoor lovers but also a popular destination within the international gay bear community. Every August, the Big Bear Romp takes place here — a multi-day event featuring parties, outdoor activities, meet-ups, and a relaxed, community-driven program. The mix of mountain scenery, cozy lodges, and vibrant LGBTQ+ atmosphere makes this event an exceptional experience for bears, cubs, chasers, and their friends. Definitely one of our top Big Bear Lake LGBTQ+ travel tips. For those wanting to combine their trip to Big Bear Lake with LGBTQ+ events, we recommend checking out our full Gay Bear Travel Guide and our article on the most important gay bear events worldwide.
#3 Winter Sports in the Ski Areas Around Big Bear Lake
Big Bear Lake isn’t just an ideal destination in summer and autumn. In winter, the region transforms into one of Southern California’s most popular ski areas. The mountains around Big Bear Lake offer several resorts, such as Snow Valley, Snow Summit, and Bear Mountain, known for varied slopes, snow parks, and cozy mountain restaurants. The combination of alpine flair, cold nights, and sunny winter days makes Big Bear Lake a lovely spot for queer winter sports fans.
Although Big Bear itself does not (yet) host a large, dedicated Gay Ski Week, a winter vacation here is perfect to combine with the LGBTQ+ winter sports scene. If you are looking specifically for queer ski and snowboard events, our overview of international gay ski weeks and our list of all LGBTQ+ ski events worldwide offer plenty of inspiration. Whether in Canada, the USA, or Europe, Big Bear Lake is a great starting point for anyone wanting to combine nature, the queer community, and winter sports.
Departure to Yucca Valley & Joshua Tree National Park
On the morning of our fifth day in Big Bear Lake, the time had already come: it was time to leave — much earlier than we would have wished. These days, Big Bear Lake has captivated us with its sense of slowing down, its closeness to nature, and its mild autumn weather. We could have easily stayed longer without hesitation. But our next destination promised to be no less spectacular.
The drive first led us downhill into the desert north of Big Bear Lake, into the Lucerne Valley. With every kilometer toward the valley, the landscape changed noticeably. The dense forests and colorful autumn trees disappeared, the air became drier, and the horizon widened. The vegetation shifted quickly: needle forests and oaks gave way to creosote bushes, yucca palms, smaller desert shrubs, and eventually the first Joshua trees. These distinctive plants grow exclusively in the southwestern United States and impressively mark the transition zone between the Mojave and Colorado deserts.
The temperatures rose significantly within a very short time, and the vast, wide-open desert plains felt like an entirely new chapter of our road trip. The wildlife of this region is just as remarkable: desert hares, roadrunners, desert tortoises, coyotes, and various lizard species are among the typical inhabitants of this sparse yet fascinating environment.
Eventually, we reached Yucca Valley — the gateway to Joshua Tree National Park — and the special accommodation of our friends John and Kit. More about our stay in, around, and near Joshua Tree National Park will follow soon (links to these new articles in our road trip series will be added in the coming days).
Our Gay Big Bear Lake LGBTQ+ Travel Tips for Your California Road Trip
Big Bear Lake gave us, in just a few days, exactly what we had been longing for after the buzz of West Hollywood: peace, nature, and that special, crisp autumn air that instantly grounds you. The mix of colorful forests, cozy lodges, warm hospitality, and LGBTQ+ friendly atmosphere makes this place a unique stop for queer travelers wanting to experience Southern California at a slower, gentler pace.
Between hiking trails, creative workshops, cozy evenings by the lake, and small adventures like the Mineshaft Coaster, we found exactly the kind of road trip moment that connects us: time together, surrounded by nature, freedom, and ease.
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And yet Big Bear Lake was only the second stop of our round trip. From here, the road took us deeper into the desert and toward the wide-open landscapes of Yucca Valley. Our next significant chapter: Joshua Tree National Park. Big Bear Lake is ideal for LGBTQ outdoor travel in California. So if you’re craving autumn mountain air, LGBTQ+ friendly places, and moments that help you slow down, Big Bear Lake is a perfect stopover on your Southern California road trip.
Continue Your LGBTQ+-Friendly Road Trip Through Southern California
If you’re planning your own road trip through Southern California, you’ll find plenty of tips on our website for LGBTQ+ friendly destinations, hikes, accommodations, and gay events. Interested in queer outdoor experiences, ski weeks, or other mountain destinations? Then browse through our guides — or write to us directly for personal recommendations. You can also follow us on Facebook, Threads, TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram. We look forward to connecting! Karl & Daan.
Important note: Our gay trip to Big Bear Lake was made possible in close collaboration with KLM Royal Dutch Airlines, Visit California, and Visit Big Bear Lake. Nevertheless, our opinions and texts — as always — are based entirely on our own personal experiences. We took all the photos and videos in this article.